Why does the mind and heart contradict each other?

Sometimes I find it really difficult to feel contented even though I know I am a really lucky girl already! I really hate this part of me too but I dunno why my expectations just start to increase and I will unknowingly try to pick on minor faults. Teddy is really quite nice to me already though he doesn't have much time for me and he is contented with just going on super simple dates. But I have always wanted someone who is hardworking, chooses work over fun, does not club or drink anymore. So why is the bitchy part of me starting to feel uncontented and keep wanting more? Maybe the problem really lies with me, he lets me go out and have fun and even tells me to enjoy myself even though he is struggling with school work etc. Ugh I should really learn to count my blessings but honestly I do wish he will be a lil more romantic and spring surprises to make life more fun :)

Don't be a woman who needs a man, be the woman a man needs

Today zy told me again "What would I do without you?" haha that makes me even more convinced to stay by his side and try to support him :) I had the day off since it was hari raya haji and he asked me to go over his place to study with him and keep him company. Haha studied a little bit and spent some time together <3 Then went out with his family for dinner at shin kushinya where we had a yummyyy japanese feast haha his parents are really kind to me :) His mum even bought a Aobali wallet when she went overseas previously haha so touched! ^^ Tmr i have unofficial leave hehe so I feel really happy now haha thank you god and I really hope my life will continue to be so awesome!

You only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough

Life's good for now! :) Went singing with some of the pharm ppl ytd and it was really fun to catch up with ppl I havent seen in a long time! Glad that everybody is doing well and overall I was v thankful for a happy sat! After that went to meet teddy for a seafood feast at his place and then we went to eat tauhway at the bean workshop and selegie road! Workwise, I actl coincidentally met this person twice at 313 and then on mrt back home hahah he's my eyecandy at work heh but he doesnt seem that awesome-looking up close when he came to talk to me haha. From far, he looked so much like "ding li wei" in the taiwan drama! Anw, I shld focus more on my teddy who is so nice to me :)

Oh and I have also been trying to keep a more active lifestyle which includes yoga, aerobics and runs hahah cant waitt till prereg is over then I can get a gym membership and go for dance and zumba classes ^^

Blessed

Hello I am currently feeling like a super blessed girl ^^ cos I am enjoying my work as it is the retail rotation at taka; where my preceptor is super nice and the 2 new colleagues I just met are super nice and I can get along really well with them :) No idea how I am gonna to survive my other inpatient rotations after being on "holiday" for so long hahah but well just see how things go.

Also feeling lucky that my bf still dotes on me even though I have my unreasonable days. There was this occasion when I suddenly felt so disappointed and started crying after he changed plans. It was a super minor change because he thought I only worked half day on sat but actually it was a full day so I was throwing a tantrum and decided not to meet him for dinner in the end. Not only was he not angry, but was instead so worried and kept trying to cheer me up. <3 Said he respected my decision and he brought me to Delicious cafe the next day for good food to make me happy. When my sis heard the story, she was like "omg, you are so demanding" then I realised how nice he actl was to tolerate me. Honestly,all along I had always thought that I was super undemanding but I guess bystanders get the clearer picture =p Anw, I find myself feeling more attraction towards him now than ever. Before this, there have been many days when I suddenly become very cold to him, not even bothering to reply some of his msges but he will always initiate to continue the convo and wish me good morn/night. It has been eight months plus alr so I guess its really not infatuation on his part? Hahah well but matters of the heart are still not so simple, but I really hope our rs will flourish and blossom :)